I’ll preface with some personal info. I’m 21 years old and set to graduate college next year with a degree in Computer Information Technology with a track in Cybersecurity. I have about 10k left I have to pay in tuition, I still live with my family, and I have my car paid off.
It’s been a pretty rough year for the stock market but I’ve been pretty meticulous and was actually doing really well, my account was up around 30% ($8000) until Monday. On Monday I decided I was going to play UPST’s earnings thinking they would beat estimates, I initially bought 250 shares right before close for a quick scalp, but then it tanked almost 40% within minutes. A couple weeks ago I watched SNAP go from -20% right after earnings to +5% in a few minutes so I thought this would be a similar case, especially since UPST had actually beat Q1 earnings but just lowered its full year guidance by 12.5%. I didn’t think a 40% drop was rational and so I panic bought more trying to average down thinking it was oversold and that it would bounce back. It all happened so fast I didn’t even realize I how much margin I was utilizing.
Well UPST continued tanking over 50% and within minutes my entire $34k account was gone. And to top it all off I got liquidated and now owe 7k in margin debt. I went from having 34k to -7k in one hour. One irresponsible and unlucky mistake instantly destroyed over 5 years of working and saving.
I didn’t truly realize how good I had it before. I was set to graduate college debt free with enough for a good down payment on a house and now I have to pay 10k in tuition and another 7k in margin debt. I only have 1k in my bank and 3k in my 401k. I currently make $422 a week after tax working part time.
Right after it happened I honestly didn’t want to live anymore. I called the suicide hotline to talk about it and get it off my chest, and I’ve scheduled a therapy appointment for Friday. It still doesn’t feel real losing that much money so fast and knowing there’s nothing I can do to get it back. I feel like I crippled my financial future, I can’t stop thinking about how many things I could’ve bought or done with that money.
I try to look at it as “its only money”, and it’s nothing that I can’t eventually comeback from as I’m still pretty young. I’m trying to focus more on other aspects of my life that I am thankful for, such as a loving family, an amazing girlfriend, and a good group of friends.
Though I can’t fathom telling anyone in my life about this, my parents and girlfriend would be incredibly disappointed in me, on top of how embarrassing it is. But they knew roughly how much money I had, and it’s a heavy burden to keep this from them and lead them to believe that I still have as much money as I did.
Right now I plan on picking up a side job on Saturdays and working full time after this semester to help pay off my debts. I also plan on going to therapy regularly and get prescribed some medication which is something I should have started a long time ago.
If anyone has a similar experience or advice on where to go from here I would very much appreciate it.
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